An oak tree doesn't have to make decisions to be an oak tree. But people do have to make decisions to actualize their own Nature.
Step 1 in Becoming Who You Are: Know what your values are.
You can find many places on the internet where you can take a values inventory to help you know what your values are.
One I used when for a short period of time I did career advisement was The Values Scale by Dorthy Nevill and Donald Super. A list of the values they use in their inventory follows.
By looking over them and seeing the values that are important to you, you can begin your journey in understanding - not what your culture values or what your family values or what your peers value or what Cancel Culture values - but what you value.
What values that are important to you would you add to this list? How would you prioritize your values?
Step 2 in Knowing Who You Are: Know Your Personality Type.
It isn't unusual for a person in a marriage to think their spouse is crazy or spiting them all the time, when they just have a different personality type. A family of introverts might think there is something wrong with the one extraverted child in the family.
People with different personality types have different psychologies, different preferences. They focus their attention on different things, take in information in different ways, make decisions in different ways, even have different communication styles.
A booklet I would recommend to give you a quick overview of personality type is Introduction to Type in Organizations by Sandra Krebs Hirsh and Jean M. Kummerow.
But that should be only the first step in the process. Carl Jung called Personality Type the Archetype of Orientation. If you have a rare personality type learning about it by reading widely about it could be pivotal in helping you be who you are.
Step 3 in knowing who you are is understanding what your Interests are. There are interest inventories online that can help you to figure that out.
Withholding The Confirmation and Reinforcements You Need To Unfold Your Own Nature
It's hard to know yourself when there are people/environments out there that exert pressure for you to assume a False Self - one that meets Their Needs and not your own.
Does Cancel Culture care a wit about Your Needs, Uniqueness, Individual gifts? Do Narcissistic parents? Do friends who don't know themselves who become threatened by your growth?
Dare I say most people do not get the facilitating environment - family/schools - they need to actualize their true nature?
Dare I say most people do not get the confirmation they need to actualize their true nature? Do the people around you let you speak freely so you come to know yourself or Censor you?
Are you doing to others, what others did to you?
Do you have relationships of Being that don't force people to meet Your Needs.
We may not want to have relationships with people whose values are very different from ours, even people whose personality type is very different from ours, or when our interests are completely different. That's when we might choose to part ways.
But parting ways is different from maintaining relationships in which we often exert unconscious pressures for people to give up who they really are so that they meet our needs.
Relationships of Being
We can allow psychologists to tell us what our needs are or we can make a very personal list of our own. That personal list will more reflect your individuality. What would your personal list of your Needs look like? Do they intersect with the Needs of those you love?
Who has the right to judge whether what is on your list is a Need or a Want?
Your experiences help shape who you are. How have your experiences helped shape your values, personality, interests, Self-Actualization, relationships, your needs, your identity?
Senator Lee: If the FBI can unfairly target a presidential campaign, imagine what it can do to regular Americans. Senator Durbin: To Attorney General under Bush, Michael Mukasey - the authority you enabled could result in the FBI conducting a "long-term physical surveillance of an innocent American citizen".